Dear Stephen the Safeway Bagger,
I don't know if you're new to the "bagging" scene, and I know there's all kinds of talk of "tea bagging" here in Washington, but I think you're confused. The cardinal rule of bagging groceries is NEVER PUT THE FUCKING BANANAS AT THE BOTTOM OF 30 LBS OF GROCERIES. It's not that tough. You just try not to squish things like bread, eggs, bananas, etc. with the gallon jug of OJ and 20 frozen dinners. Perhaps you like bruised bananas, but they make me gag. I don't pay 58 cents a pound to test my gag reflex.
Thank you for ignoring the bloody obvious,
Brown Banana Blues
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