Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Dear Man with Leopard Print Hair

Dear Man with Leopard Print Hair,
Um, excuse me Sir, but is that your natural hair color? Are you the offspring of a cougar and a bad decision? Your hair just looks foooooolish. And painful. To dye your hair that many colors seems like such a prodigious waste of time, not to mention it's so fugly it's offensive to cats. I hope a stray cat brings you dead critters and poops in your flower pots. If I was a jungle cat I would bitch slap you (claws out), then scalp you, then use your sorry excuse for a hair do as a toy, which I would then hide under my jungle cat couch.

Meow,
~Unimpressed

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