Dear Dude Who Canceled Our Date...Again,
I gather from your pathetic little speech that you feel bad about canceling our date again because of sudden commitments, but rather that this reflecting on your feelings about our relationship, it more accurately reflects your inappropriate lack of fear of a 20 something single woman. If you put Bear Grylls in a room full of single women he would beg for mercy while weaving his intestines into an escape rope. We are the most terrifying creatures known to man, and you better recognize. So, when we reschedule this "rainchecked" date, you better make it right. Be a man, figure it out. Just because you're a novice, I'll give you a hint: wine, chocolate, flowers (preferably all three).Good luck with women for the rest of your life.
xoxox,
anonymous
P.S. You have officially earned yourself a "raincheck" next time you want to get some. How ya like them apples?
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