Dear IT Department

Dear IT Department,
It is really dumbfounding how a Fortune 500 company has a completely incapable IT department. And by incapable, I mean system-wise and helpdesk-wise. I mean, we make billions of dollars and engineer some pretty high-tech shit, but we can't have email for a week? "Server is fixed" my ass. How does that happen? And when I call with a probem, "Jason" (with Indian accent) gives me a bunch of shit, leaving me even more frustrated and ready to toss my POS laptop out the window. Seriously, how can you not fix email for a week??? WE HAVE CUSTOMERS (which in case you forgot, give us money for our product and coincidentally, is how you get paid) WHO RELY ON EMAIL COMMUNICATION WITH US. And when email is working, the rest of the machine is runing 20 seconds behind each click. Hell, I could be getting so many chores done at home if I knew my computer and email were not going to work between the hours of 8:30am and 4:30pm. Please get your shit together. Before you not only have broken machines, but broken windows with broken machines resting outside them. Oh lord, then facilities will have to get involved. HELP.

Thanks,
Unproductive