Dear Man with Leopard Print Hair,
Um, excuse me Sir, but is that your natural hair color? Are you the offspring of a cougar and a bad decision? Your hair just looks foooooolish. And painful. To dye your hair that many colors seems like such a prodigious waste of time, not to mention it's so fugly it's offensive to cats. I hope a stray cat brings you dead critters and poops in your flower pots. If I was a jungle cat I would bitch slap you (claws out), then scalp you, then use your sorry excuse for a hair do as a toy, which I would then hide under my jungle cat couch.
Meow,
~Unimpressed
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