Dear TSA

Dear TSA,
I appreciate the fact that security has beefed up in light of recent terrorist threats. But come on, my bra should not set off the metal detectors. Thanks for making the trip home a little more interesting with the pat down and the over the tshirt examination of my boobs. Perhaps I should travel without a bra on?

Just tryin' to get fresh?
Frequent traveler

Dear Daniel, part deux

The souffle chef (sans teeth)

Member of dinner party feeding souffle chef

Member of dinner party helping Daniel with his presentation of the menu

Dear Daniel, part deux,

Upon further reflection of pictures from my phone, I realize why you were so nervous. We were total obnoxious jackholes. We made you bring out the souffle chef, we fed the souffle chef, we drank a magnum of wine, and we helped you describe the menu to other patrons. But hey- you amde over 20%, so I'd like to think we are still friends. I will facebook you; afterall, you did sign the wine bottle with us. Thanks for putting up with us. Food was delish!

Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol,

Full bellies

Dear Firefighters

Dear Firefighters,
Once a year, you descend upon the streets of Indianapolis in all of your glory. You go out drinking til the wee hours, spend your government per diem on hookers, wings and beer, and make the ladies in Indy get bikini waxes. And you also roll up in to town in some pretty pimp rides. I must admit, when I saw an ambulance pull up to the Canterbury, I was not expecting 8 bags of luggage to emerge from the back. Kudos to you, fighters or the fire. Keep on spending the dollars. We have 3 stadiums to pay for!

Naptown Rocks,
Showmaster

Dear Daniel and Larry

Dear Daniel and Larry,
Oh what a night. I am not sure what I enjoyed more; how nervous we made you Daniel, or how Larry the Lobster loved being pet so much. Larry- you lived to see another day. We did not consume you. Daniel, people make you nervous, which makes me question why you are on staff at a 5-star restaurant. Your hands were shaking and you spoke so fast I could not understand a word out of your mouth. But you did keep the drinks coming and give us a laugh. And yea, maybe we were a little obnoxious. But you won me over with petting Larry while walking us through the menu. I heart you. Don't worry, we will be facebook friends.

Bon Appetite!
Larry Lover

Dear Tetris-shaped bushes owner

Dear Tetris-shaped bushes owner,
I appreciate your public devotion to the game in your front yard...but...don't you think that looks a little odd? I mean, your guests must walk through a shrub cave to get to your front door. Why not....cut them so they are all level? One can only imagine what the siding looks like behind there, let alone the bugs. When you live on a busy street, its a nice idea to keep your house looking nice and neat...but not Tetris-neat.

I like clean lines,
Bob Villa

Dear Farmers

Dear Farmers,
I now know where transformers came from! They came from farm equipment. Your equipment looks kinda ok and then you put your farm equipment to work and this small tractor becomes a piece of equipment that can block 4 lanes of highway!!! I love the mid west!! I'm ok with the traffic disruption.

Thank you Farmers,
A Consumer

Dear Lady in the Red Pajamas

Dear Lady in the Red Pajamas,
You made my day. I was driving to work in a crappy mood when I saw you chasing and shooing your ducks across the road. You were very intent on getting your ducks home and they were intent on waddling down 450 North. Thanks for making me laugh and getting your precious ducks back home!

Love,
the Lady who stopped traffic for you.

PS where do you get those jammies??? Rural King?