Dear Back to the Future

Dear Back to the Future,
Thank you for the laugh. The green, pink, yellow lettering really took me back. For a second, I thought it just might be Michael J Fox in the drivers seat. Window paint should really be outlawed for this very reason. Just because you driver a Lancer that vaguely resembles the vehicle from the movie does not mean you should write it on your car.

To infinity and beyond,

ME

Dear Glee

Dear Glee,
Welcome back. I'm especially looking forward to the Madonna episode and the classic spitfire rants of Sue Sylvester. And, as glad as I am to reconnect with favorites (Rachel, Puck), I would really appreciate some more screen time for the lesser players: I'm talking about you Other Asian and Brittany.

Becky Jackson for Head Cheerleader,
Kyle

Dear Man in Madras Print Suit

Dear Man in Madras Print Suit,
Douchebags anonymous called after you ran out on the meeting. You look fucking ridiculous. If you wore that in my neighborhood you would be shot. For being a douche. Next time you rifle through your closet for another fashion tradgedy try to pick something that doesn't look like a picnic vomited on you.

My eyes hurt,
Enjoying the weather

Dear Cell Phone Asshole,

Dear Obnoxious Guy on His Cell for 5 Minutes on the SILENT floor of the library,

Yeah, that's right. I just disgustingly put a piece of sushi the size of my fist in my mouth in front of you because if you're going to be rude and talk on your phone so the whole floor can hear, I'm going to be rude and eat like a circus creature in front of you. Take that.

STUFF IT!

~me

Dear Body

Dear Body,
Do you know how much it sucks that you are getting older? The knee hurts when I run. I can't sleep at night. I wake up to pee 2-3 time a night. AND the liver is not as strong as it used to be. It also now takes days to recover from a 2am night. STOP getting old, and stay the way you are, please. I enjoy karaoking until the wee hours of the morning as well as making an ass of myself on the dancefloor "riding the pony".

Forever young,
ME

Dear Lady on her Cell Phone While Pooping at Work

Dear Lady on her Cell Phone While Pooping at Work,
Whoa. That is like a triple faux...pooh. I am horrified. At least I had the good sense to wash my hands before running out while you coordinated dropping the kids off at the pool...in multiple ways.

VOMIT IN MY MOUTH,
Co-worker

Dear Man Playing the Flute While Walking Down the Street

Dear Man Playing the Flute While Walking Down the Street,
I like that you felt under-accessorized with your reed flute/recorder as you walk down L St and you decided to jazz up the outfit with the red crocheted "man satchel". Nothing says manly like walking down the street playing a reed flute in sandals with a purse.

Rock on modern man, I need coffee