Dear Verizon - YOU SUCK

Dear Verizon,

I loathe you. You have the WORST customer service of any business, EVER. You lie, cheat and steal from your customers. I think you actually train your employees to suck. I think you have to suck to work for Verizon. After talking to your sucky employees on the phone about how you have once again screwed up a bill, I decide to actually go talk in person to your sucky employees. And what greets me? Fucking medieval times. So your employees can suck AND wear costumes? Come on! Her boobs practically welcomes guests in the parking lot, and it was not welcome! Do your employees feast on turkey legs at the service counter in front of customers too? Do you ride horses and do battle? Oh wait, its a verbal attack on me, every fucking time I walk in the door. I fully recognize you will not change, and I am stuck with you. But can you at least ask your employees to wear REAL clothes that don't make me feel like you think your business REALLY is a joke?

I support the black knight,
Over Verizon

Dear Kroger

Dear Kroger,

Columbus, what is going on? There is no need for this. I expect more from you. I understand its a holiday weekend, time to kick back and relax, but I don't think that needs to involve your entire hind end in full view of everyone trying to purchase tasty treats for family cookouts. I actually lost my appetite to be quite honest. When shopping, Columbus, I request please cover your ass.

PS - fall is here- cover your bum you won't want frost bite.

Full Moon,

Kroger Shopper

Dear Previous Posts

Dear Previous Posts,

Reflecting on March 8 and March 17, 2010 posts, I realized I am smarter than I give myself credit for!

Learning to trust gut instinct,
OK

Dear Dearsoandsoityouknowwhoyouare,

Dear Dearsoandsoityouknowwhoyouare,

As author of this blog I have failed! How can over 16 months go by without an update? Re-reading this, I forgot how funny I am. Time to unleash the fun, frustration and fabulousness.

Get ready!

Committed,
ME

Dear TSA

Dear TSA,
I appreciate the fact that security has beefed up in light of recent terrorist threats. But come on, my bra should not set off the metal detectors. Thanks for making the trip home a little more interesting with the pat down and the over the tshirt examination of my boobs. Perhaps I should travel without a bra on?

Just tryin' to get fresh?
Frequent traveler

Dear Daniel, part deux

The souffle chef (sans teeth)

Member of dinner party feeding souffle chef

Member of dinner party helping Daniel with his presentation of the menu

Dear Daniel, part deux,

Upon further reflection of pictures from my phone, I realize why you were so nervous. We were total obnoxious jackholes. We made you bring out the souffle chef, we fed the souffle chef, we drank a magnum of wine, and we helped you describe the menu to other patrons. But hey- you amde over 20%, so I'd like to think we are still friends. I will facebook you; afterall, you did sign the wine bottle with us. Thanks for putting up with us. Food was delish!

Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol,

Full bellies

Dear Firefighters

Dear Firefighters,
Once a year, you descend upon the streets of Indianapolis in all of your glory. You go out drinking til the wee hours, spend your government per diem on hookers, wings and beer, and make the ladies in Indy get bikini waxes. And you also roll up in to town in some pretty pimp rides. I must admit, when I saw an ambulance pull up to the Canterbury, I was not expecting 8 bags of luggage to emerge from the back. Kudos to you, fighters or the fire. Keep on spending the dollars. We have 3 stadiums to pay for!

Naptown Rocks,
Showmaster